Tuesday, January 20, 2009

bisa buat pelajaran

"Sometimes behind the succsess agency, is the great woman."

If you earn to assure! our agency is now looking for highly motivated, creative, innovative, and qualified people in Female Account Manager position. Must be have leadership abilities, strong experiences in full service agency business, good personality and communication skill and also good analytical thinking

Akankah lebih baik menjadi:

"Behind Every Successful Agency There Is A Woman."
Our agency is now looking for highly motivated,creative, innovative, and qualified mastermind to fill Female Account Managerposition. She must have leadership skill, strong experiences in full-service agency business, good personality, excellent communication skill and sharp analytical thinking.


Paling nggak tanda baca dan huruf kapital mesti benar, dan beberapa grammar. Masih bisa lebih baik lagi dengan kata-kata yang lebih bombastic dan powerful though. Judul terkesan masih kurang 'tegas' dengan penggunaan kata 'sometimes' di sana, terkesan anda hanya terkadang membutuhkan saja, lain waktu dibuang. Lah, bagaimana 'great woman' tersebut bisa tergoda untuk bekerja di perusahaan anda apabila anda sendiri terkesan mau 'appreciate' juga nanggung gitu.

Posted by: "Yenny Heriana" yennyheriana@yahoo.com yennyheriana Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:21 am (PST)

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